Fade into the darkness.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 1:49 AM

your break up is mine too

It was a happy birthday, until my sister went off with her friends in the beach. She got home at 2am, after asking what fun did she had, we went to His topic. Superman’s topic
He and she broke up. I was crashed. But I cant let my sister see how affected I am so I called pearly and talk things about her and Daniel ( I didn’t talk about him) after talking to her and done some stuff here I am… Crying. It’s not supposed to feel this way. He is supposed to be happy. Yun lang HAPPY. He got drunk at the beach and my sister labeled him as GAGO ULIT... ouch. Those words stroke my heart that I got regurgitation; a backflow of blood in my heart that anytime I could lie down and die. Yeah exaggerating but that’s exactly how it feels like.
Im so effin affected! Kakainis. I should not be feeling this way, I should not care. But that’s what fucking hurting me. I can’t be there to care for him. I can’t even text him. And say those gasgas lines like “hey r u ok? Don’t worry you’ll be fine, ill be here”. i know I can say more comforting words than that, I know I can comfort him… but chances wont permit me. I must not……

Dapat hindi ganito.
Dapat masaya lang siya. Yun lang please God make him Happy again
I don’t care if im not part of it just make him happy.
Oh my God tear drops… he’s the only one that can make me cry this way. I know damn ass hole. Hindi dapat ako apektado diba? I cant help it. I love him. I once said to him that he cant escape my love, well now im letting you escape from it but please be happy. Sumpa ba yun? Hindi naman ah…

I never thought that Im crying for the same reason again, I thought I already gave all my tears and never cry again... But Fuck! Im crying……. 10 minutes ago I talked to batman but it seems talking to him doesn’t make me feel any better, I appreciated his effort to cheer me up, he was convincing me to share my problem, I couldn’t, I don’t (ironically I am blogging)I don’t know!!! His power was weak… Maybe he helped coz I forgot what I feel for about 30 minutes. But then after I hung up the phone 3 minutes later my tear drops burst. Until now…. I don’t know what to do... im hopeless,, Im helpless, ILL DIE IF THIS WONT END.

Please God make things easy for Me., help me make him happy, no help him be happy. I wont go near him coz the pain would kill me. I’m the fattest dumb martyr in this world allowing myself to cry like this...